What is favouritism?

The unfair favouring of one person or group at the expense of another.

How can we not show favouritism?

But perhaps your daughter keeps saying that you love her brother more than you love her? And deep down, maybe you admit your son is easier to get on with?

As children develop their own personalities, a natural warmth may grow between one child and a parent. They may have the same outlook on life, similar interests or a shared sense of fun. This may lead to accusations of favouritism.

Recognise the situation
All children claim 'It's not fair', but you know favouritism is an issue, if one of your children is forever saying things like, 'You always take his side.' 'I get blamed for everything.' or as in your daughter's case 'You love him more than you love me.'

Listen to your daughter's complaints and ask yourself if it's true. Do you spend more time with him? Do you feel a special closeness to him? It may be hard to accept but recognising the truth is the first step to doing something about it.

What you feel and what you do
You can't change the way you feel, but you can do something about the way you act on those feelings. If you're honest enough to admit your feelings, then you're in a position to protect your less favoured child. If there is a bias in your behaviour, take steps to be fairer in future.

See it as she sees it
If it's not true that he is your favourite, ask yourself why she feels this way? Do you take his side in their quarrels? Do you think that he needs more help than she does? Does he lack confidence and do you make more of an effort to acknowledge his achievements, for that reason? All of this may look to her as if you give him more attention and more love.